1 man, 12 chicken wings, 30 minutes.

The Wing Challenge at Wing Shack. When I first heard of it, I have to be honest, it sounded easy. Even if it was their spiciest sauce. I love food and I love it spicy. Should be good right?

So Sam, Casey, Nate, Danny and I all head on over to the wing shack. I just wanted to play it cool, like I just was there for a meal. But everyone was trying hard to make it a big deal.. I walked up to the front of the store and, trying to look very bored, said, "Yeah... I'll get the wing challenge?" to which the cashier responds excitedly "The wing challenge!" completely blowing my nonchalance.

As the food was cooking I started to get a bit nervous.. I had just spent the last few days telling everyone how easily I would be able to do this.. But what if I failed? No living it down.

Soon the guy comes out with our orders and sets the food in front of me. The fumes from the sauce stung my eyes... but it wasn't the spiciness that worried me. Casey said his stomach simply couldn't hold the food. But wings aren't very big.

Well, turns out there is a bit more to it. You cant have any drink, you cant dip them in any other sauces, and you gotta down it in 30 min. Also.. a bit of false advertising going on. These are no chicken wings. These are big chicken strips! Whatever. No backing down.

The worker tells me the rules and says, just tell me when your ready and I'll start the timer. Without even looking up I said "I'm ready now" and picked up the first strip with my fingers and started eating.

I got the first 8 down and had 16 minutes left.. But boy.. It was killing me. The chicken was right out of the oven hot and it wasn't the sauce that was burning my mouth. At this point it felt like a gross warm pit in my stomach, heavy as a rock. I began to just chew the damned things in huge bite and force it to the back of my throat with my tongue and let my reflexes do the rest, trying the whole time to taste it as little as possible. My mouth was so bored of the flavor that my body wanted to reject it.

 Every once in a while the guys would give words of encouragement or ask me how I was doing. I would just shrug it off and say "fine" and then change the subject. I didn't want to dwell on it. Mind over matter. Those last four where really getting to me.

2 minuets left, 1 wing to go.

I took the whole thing in my mouth and started mindlessly chewing and swallowing, even though my belly wanted nothing to do with it. But it does what I say, so it took the abuse.


Victory! And not a moment too soon.

To celebrate I drank TONS of liquid and topped it off with orange leaf frozen yogurt.

In case your wondering what I got for nearly killing myself with chicken; a $10 gift certificate, a tee shirt, and my picture on the Wing Shack wall of fame.

I also got a burning food baby trying to rip its was out of me. Over 24 hours later and I am still dealing with the aftermath. Sick all last night and this morning, and just a few minutes ago it came back. Right when I started describing the events..

I may never want another chicken wing in my life, and I probably did permanent damage to the inner wall of  my intestines..

...Totally worth it.