Canadian 101

Although it is wildly thought that "Canadian" and "English" are the same language, there are some differences in the most basic forms of communication. Here is a guide that will help you understand any foreigners you may come across.

~Words and Definitions~

Supper - NOUN: A meal that is eaten at the end of the day. takes place after dinner.

Dinner - NOUN: The meal between breakfast and supper.

Lunch - ...?

Washroom - NOUN: A place to relieve one's waist, similar to the American "Bathroom".

Phone - VERB: The act of communicating with someone on a telephonic device. "I'll phone you later." Tenses; Phone, Phoning, Phoned.

Call - VERB: The act of visiting or re-visiting someones home. "You can call back next week." Tenses; Call, Calling, Called.

Yous - PRONOUN: The plural form of the word 'You'. "Where are yous headed this evening?"

Eh? - ???: A meaningless statement added to the end of a sentence to either indicate that you are asking a question or that you are waiting for input. A slang form of the word, "Hey?", is comonly used with the younger generation to show their defiance and deviance from their parents. Unfortunately the difference in pronunciation is negligable.


~Grammer~

Vowels are: A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes G, Like in Flag, Bag, Tag, and Rag. The G will make the normaly, soft 'a' a hard 'A'.

Foreign words (especially Spanish) are ALWAYS pronounce phonetically. Exp. 'Jealopeno' = 'Ja-la-pen-no', 'Pasta' = 'P-Ah-sta'

As a rule of thumb, the letter 'O' is always pronounce different than the american 'O' in a fetal attempt to further distance themselves from their (American) culture.


Follow this guide, and the next time you meet a Canadian, you should be able to communicate well enough to send them back to Canada.

I Swallowed a Fly

There once was a missionary who swallowed a fly.

I don't know why he swallowed a fly... I guess he'll die.

MTC Banana

When Sister Horning found out you could take fruit out of the MTC cafeteria... she went insane. There was always a banana hidden around the class room. On the chalk board, in the drinking fountain, in my bag... She even put a stamp on one and tried to mail it to me.









And she even tried to bring one to Canada.



He traveled with us from Provo, to Salt Lake, to Minneapolis. But the poor little guy didn't make it through customs.







But when I got to Canada, guess what I found in the back of the car I was assigned? I don't know how he did it, but MTC Banana made it to Canada. Good for him. He finally made it to the field. And he is one of the best missionaries I know.

The Rock Pit

We went out to Souris this P-day. They told us we were going to the rock pit! Apparently it is this amazing place where there are all these rare rocks that you get to find and take home!  Not to mention, that because of the rain, there were tons of pits of quicksand out there. They told us we would try to find some.  I was so excited.   And then we got there... and the place fit the name... It was a pit... with rocks in it.  It really was a junk yard. There were broken down cars littering one half of it, and giant piles of rocks filled the other...   For about an hour we dug through piles of rocks.   What am I even going to do with the rocks I found? keep them my whole mission? They aren't even rare!   We were told we could keep 25 pounds of rocks. Who would keep that much junk! Canada is so lame. They dig in the dirt for fun.  What a great P-Day.  The rock pit... 

Halava

One word... HALAVA... look it up

Imigrant

We saw a Hispanic man walking on the other side of the street and Elder Tieken said we should talk to him. So we walk over there with our ties and name tags, and when he sees us he ducks his head and starts walking fast...  Then Elder Tieken calls out "Excuse me" or something like that... and the guy bolts.  He runs down the street to the nearest door, jumps inside, and slams it shut...  At first we were really confused... then we figure it out.  He thought we were from Immigration.

Now Thats More Like It

6:00 on Saturdays we play volley ball with the investigators. But we could only stay for a bit because we had an appointment at 7:30.

7:00 rolls around... and 6 Chinese people come up to us and ask if they can join... and one of them speaks fluent English and Chinese...

You need to understand the value of that Chinese young man. We have 3 Chinese investigators right now, all of which are showing potential... none of which speak very good English. We can only communicate on a basic level.

If we got that young man to investigate the Church... it could lead to big things.

I looked to Elder Tieken. We still had to change and go pick up the member that was going to join us.

"...5 more minutes"

5 minutes pass... and we really have to go. We leave it up to the other Elders to handle.. and run for the car.

We were sprinting and jumping over fences and driving like mad! When we got into the apartment, we still had muddy sand on our feet. we jumped in the tub and took turns washing our feet and got dressed in 2 min. flat.

I was so tired when we finally got ready and jumped back into the car... but the whole time I had a smile on my face.

This is how I had imagined missionary work.

Now I'm a Missionary.

The Soup Kitchen

Every week we go and volunteer at a soup kitchen for service. Most of the people that work there look like they should be eating there... and a lot of the people that eat there look like they shouldn't... but whatever. It's not my place to judge.

We get there early so we can eat before we work. The food is usually pretty bad. I have to portion it out so I don't eat all the bearable stuff and get left with a pile of uneatable stuff...

Afterwards we help clean up. I cleaned my station and then went to go and put some left over lettuce in the freezer. When i walked in, the door closed behind me... and I couldn't open it again.

I was trapped!

I started thinking about all the stories I had heard of people dieing in locked freezers, and started to panic. I tried pulling the knob and pushing the knob and kicking the knob.. but nothing was working.

I saw there was a panic button so I started to push it.. and waited. and waited... but no one was coming!

This was the end. I knew I wouldn't last much longer. So I decided to try the nob one more time...

Turns out it twists the other way...

No worries... it's all good.

Winnipeg

Since I have been in Canada, I have...  

Been assigned a Trainer (Elder Tieken) 

Been assigned to an Area (Brandon West) 

Been assigned to be DESIGNATED DRIVER! 

Drove too fast (Got scolded by a sister missionary) 

Stopped at a Green light (Got yelled at by a Winnipeger) 

Drove too slow (Got weird looks from a Winnipeger) 

Ran a red light (Got laughed at by my Comp.) 

Drove 2 hours! 

Saw a man get Tased 

Saw one of my Investigators get Maced 

Worked at a soup Kitchen 

Assisted Elder T in breaking into an apartment. 

And bought a Kinder Egg.  

I love Canada

Well I made it!

I walked out of the imigration office on to the main floor... and it was a different world! the noises the people the colors. It was really strange. We packed into the car with the Mission Prez and drove off to the mission home for dinner. The neighborhood is so nice. It actaully feels kinda like home.
SO the city is crazy... but the suburbs are nice.

Thats all I can say for now. P-days are on mondays. Just so you know.

If you need to send me something it HAS to go to this adress.

Canada Winnipeg Mission
Elder Jeffery Liechty
845 Shaftesbury Boulevard
Winnipeg, MB R3P OM5

The Mission name HAS to come before my name. OR ELSE!

Email:  Jeffery.Liechty@mldsmail.net

Love you